Monday, October 13, 2008

Hi, my name is John Pigeon, and I’m a good sense of humour person. I really need it. My childhood was a bit complicated because of my name. Exists a TV spot where was a guy called Juan Palomo (yo me lo guiso, yo me lo como), and due to this I have a large name: John Pigeon, I cook it I eat it. But this isn’t the worst: my nickname is Pig (from Pigeon, for the ones that are miles away). My God, John the Pig! But this could get worse. Have you ever seen Sex and the City? It is an American television program focused on four women who live in New York City. Well, one friend of mine loves these kind of series, and in one chapter was a guy with the full name of John James Preston, also called, Mr. Big. Perfect. My new nickname is John the Big Pig. Yeah…

I work as an assistant manager. It’s great, but when you say this to you meet people, at the first time everybody thinks you’re gay. Oh, come on, just with a name as mine it's difficult enough to make it out with any girl! “What about your date with… with that guy… What’s his name?” “John the Big Pig” It doesn’t sound quite good… Anyway, I love my work, because I actually arrange all of my boss appointments, as I organize his entire engagement book. Also, when he’s out all day he trusts me. I have to say that I like to have authority, as responsibilities, but sometimes those can be so stressful. When my boss comes back it’s impossible to do anything apart from running after him.


Some Monday jokes (Mondays usually are a bit hard) related to my job:

With the idea to surprise her husband, an executive`s wife stopped by his office. She found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, shortage or no shortage, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

A little bird was flying South for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Lessons:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut.

3 comments:

Nuria Vidal said...

WELL DONE!!!

Here are my comments:

-My childhood was A bit complicated BECAUSE OF my name
-and due TO this
-one friend of mine loves THESE kind of series,
-and in one chapter a guy with the full name of John James Preston APPEARS (WO)
-It’s great, but when you MEET PEOPLE AND SAY THIS (WO), the first time everybody thinks you’re gay. (Anything wriong with being gay?)
-just with a name as mine IT is difficult ENOUGH (W) to make IT out with any girl!
-because I actually (WO) arrange all of my boss' appointments (CAREFUL! WO AND POSSESIVES!) , as I (pronoun needed!) organize his entire engagement book.
-apart FROM runNING AFTER him.

Thanks for the jokes!

Please, disable word verification for comments. It saves my time. Thanks!

John Pigeon said...

Thanks for your corrections.

John Pigeon said...

My dear Virginia, first of all, I hope you get well soon.
Secondly, I know you love generate controversy, and that's a way to prompt us to write, but I don't have any problem with gays, I was just explaining that for an heterosexual guy as me, it's difficult to avoid being seen as... well, as a friend. Sometimes I feel as Chandler Bing from the tv serie Friends.